Canada

Bear UNAWARE in British Columbia


In the rugged, pristine mountains of British Columbia walks the Black Bear and its bigger brother the Grizzly. In sharing our habitat with these magnificent creatures, we must remember to be respectful of their presence as we are their guests, in their native lands. Every year hundreds of black and grizzly bears are killed due to human negligence, a result of habituation. Below my Co-worker Pierce LeClair describes how you too can help kill the bears!

bear

When camping

  • Leave your garbage strewn all over the place in a very slovenly way
  • Cook lots of bacon and eggs and rub your hands on your clothing
  • Keep your food and coolers inside or near your tent

When Hiking

  • Preferably, hike alone
  • Do not make any loud noises as to spook the bears, walk against the wind
  • Apply a liberal dose of bear repellant to you and your family members as deterrent, especially around the face area
  • Pick the prolific edible berries in their vast patches not caring to look up from time to time
  • Let your dog roam freely to antagonize any bear that may be in the area

If you encounter a bear

  • Shout at the bear to get its attention
  • Run away as fast as you can
  • Climb a tree frantically
  • If a mother bear displays aggressiveness towards you immediately try to hold one of her cubs hostage to negotiate terms of mutual agreement
  • If attack is imminent from a black bear, play dead

* In case you haven’t figured out the absurdity of this post – Please do the exact opposite of what is suggested!*

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